The "but" part has been a journey. My mom had a stroke about 6 years ago. Where my mother is concerned, dealing with her post-stroke became my focus. I realize that a big part of me had simply shoved the other times we shared aside so that I could work on the situations and get things done.
As I've thought about the trips dad, mom and I took I can recall many better than good times. I can relive some of those jokes she told me. I can smile at her exploration into doing "color consulting" [anyone remember spring, fall, winter and summer colors]. The thoughts are good, bittersweet at times, and full of life.
The upshot is that I'm doing okay...but and that is not a bad place to be.